One year.

 Oh sure, I could quote something from Rent, and be the musical theater geek that you all already know I am. But I won't because that's trite, and I'm not in the mood for such things right now. 

We've been in social distancing for over a year now. 

Spring has come again, and it's lovely and green, and playing havoc with all my allergies. But, unlike last spring, I don't go as quickly to the panic place as I did last April. Now I panic less, and am trying to get my anxiety back under control. 

I'm managing, I guess. Some days are better than others.

Touch wood no one in my immediate family has gotten Covid, although there was a scare with my dad a while back. It was semi-serious, but not covid. It's May first today, and all the adults are vaccinated and we're starting to venture out into the world. We've spent time with my family, and shared hugs and we're planning to see Dave's family this weekend. 

The kids are struggling with school, with social life, with everything. Some of it, I'm certain, is pandemic-related, but most of it is growing up. The fact that we're cooped up in roughly 1,000 square feet only adds to things. 

But there are positives. 

I've mastered a few skills. There's been epic knitting, I started playing piano again. I'm teaching myself to use a sewing machine. (Rule #1 - you are in charge, not the fabric. My mom will laugh at this. I remember using her machine many, many years ago, and HATING it.) I have a long way to go, but it's fun and distracting in a way that my brain was craving. Dave is making music. Ben is gaming, and Claire is doing whatever 13-almost-14 year old girls do. 

There's a long way to go yet. But I hugged a friend today who I haven't hugged in a whole year. And that felt good in my bones. 

I took some of our girl scouts out to do a gardening project in one of our community garden spaces today. We planted daisies and sunflower seeds. Now that's a kind of hope we need.