I've been trying to focus these days. To be present for the kids and my husband. It's working. I feel better and better.
We are having a good summer around here. Great, even. The kids are at a fantastic day camp in the neighborhood. Three mornings a week, where they are taking piano, chess, ju-jitsu, drama as well as the regular camp activities of sprinkler time and arts-and-crafts. (Which Ben still occasionally calls "artsy-crafts.) Claire is learning to roller blade.
I'm trying to organize the house again. I never get very far with it, and I never remember quite how I did it the last time. I hope there is something to be said for the effort of trying, even if I never quite succeed.
There are five weeks until school starts. Second grade and kindergarten. Hard to imagine. Another new set of friends to make - for both Ben and me. Claire's friends will be pretty unchanged, as she's in a special class. I'm glad for that.
It's hard to say goodbye to one phase of friendship as it passes, I think. I wonder who will stay in our circle, and who will move on. Watching these kids grow from babies into toddlers and feeling out the strange waters of motherhood together. The moms made plans, and our kids played together while we chatted.
But, at some point, the kids started picking their own friends. Sometimes, they are still the families we know best. Sometimes, I don't know the parents as well. If I'm lucky I get a new friend in the transaction. Sometimes, I don't. Still, there is a longing for the friendships that have passed. I miss those sweet baby play dates. I miss connecting with those women, who helped me through, those days.