Chocolate and Cheese

I'm going to spend some time talking about body issues here, so Dad, Uncle Tony, Ev, consider yourselves warned.

As I was saying, I want to take some time to talk about body issues. Particularly mine, but maybe yours too? I don't know. Maybe we can help each other out

I was thinking not to long ago about my shape. Not whether I'm in shape or not, or how I can get into better shape, which are both really good things to think about, but my shape. For those of you who know me - and have seen my at my best, I'm a nice retro-body type. Very hourglass, with hips and boobs and nice legs.

Lately, I'm not at my best. At least not at what my best used to be. I don't actually know what my best is supposed to look like any more.Over the last five years, my body has been busy serving other people - two pregnancies, each 40 weeks long. Then I nursed Claire for eleven months, and Ben for ten.

Is it any wonder that I don't feel at home in my body?
So how can I find my way back? How can I be proud of who I am - and what my body, somewhat older and more tired, can do? How can I heal the hurts and find my strengths again.

I remember once talking to my mom about all of this. And she said something to me, about how genetics play a part in my shape, which is where I got the title of this post. "Di, you have to understand something," she said. "It's not all chocolate and cheese, you know. You look just like your grandmothers."


Anonymous said…
oh how I wished it just boiled down to choc and chz. I supposed having TIME to excersize.. maybe that would help a new mamma feel better? Until I have time to exercise, I'll keep enjoying chocolate and cheeze and worry about it later. You should feel free to do the same!
Anonymous said…
eek! that appalling typo there w/ the word excersize is just telling... isn't it? need time, need sleep
Of course, I started typing something after I saw this and didn't manage to save it or post it.

I hear you all too well and can relate.

It really is a challenge to do the right thing all the time. But I know it is critical for Elanor to see me healthy and happy in my body. If I am unhappy and stressed, I fear it will make her more susceptible to weight issues.

I had trouble growing up as I was always the "chubby" girl. Scary thing is I look back at pics now and I really wasn't as big as people seemed to make me believe. I was never tiny, but still.

Luckily in grad school I found some people who liked my body the way it was. I learned to love my curves and appreciate them. Even when I was at my largest, I didn't feel unattractive. I just knew it wasn't good for my health.

Having two kids has definitely changed the *shape* of my figure. And honestly, I really am not sure what to do with it. I really want someone to look at me and be able to tell me *how* to dress my new shape.

I don't feel comfortable in my new shape. But I am trying.

I am back with WW to try and lose weight as I gained too much with the kids and it isn't healthy. But it is tough. I hope to get exercise in some time soon.

I am still nursing Will (and he is a pain about nursing). So I still don't feel like my body is my own yet.
Grampa said…
Well, forewarned is forearmed. Read it anyway. And Mom's right. Genetics. Nana Helen. You could do a lot worse.

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