Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Away We Go!

The kids have settled into their school routine. Claire was easy, she was going into the known. Ben is still unsure, but every day it's going a little smoother.

As for me - I'm working on the new me.
Tomorrow - I'm heading off alone. Exploring a new city, meeting new friends, and starting a journey. It's time to take my blog, to a different level.

See you on the other side.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Requiem

I don't think I've ever written about it. For too long, the memories were too raw and fresh to need to commit them to paper. But that was thirteen years ago, and images fade, eventually.

Looking out the window and seeing the impossible, on what had been perfect day.

I was at the gym, and someone came in and told us the news, so I ran to the roof and looked for myself. Went to the office, because that was a safe place. Our windows faced south. I called my parents, Dave, my friends.

We watched.
We held each other and cried. We went home, some walked miles in unsuitable shoes, borrowed and broken shoes. I was lucky, I was able to get a subway home with Dave.

I had forgotten the pain until this morning, looking at the beautiful clear, blue of the sky. It washed over me suddenly, when I wasn't expecting it to. It was so very long ago.


Thursday, September 4, 2014

First Day

Today is the first day of school. We walked over, hand in hand. And my sweet second grader walked in with her backpack and lunch in hand.

Kindergarten starts in a little while - he has two hours of orientation today and tomorrow and starts full days on Monday.


This sums up my children perfectly. I hope they always look for silliness when they can. I hope they are avid learners, and appreciate the life they have. I wish them both a fantastic day, and a wonderful year. You make my life so much better. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Lingering Days

Summer is passing by. It's the middle of August, and there are 23 days left until the first day of school.

I've started shopping for supplies for the kids, backpacks, lunchboxes and uniforms. I sort of can't wait to see Ben dressed for school in his white polo shirts, and blue shorts. The first time Claire put on her school clothes, I just about died from the cute!

We've packed the summer full of good times - day camp has been ages of fun for the kids. We took a vacation - exploring Denver and the area. Now we are rounding out the summer with a camping trip with good friends.

It's been a good few months.

Today, the weather is cool and rainy, and holds the promise of the fall days to come. Onward and upwards, my friends, onwards and upwards.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Middle of the Road

I've been trying to focus these days. To be present for the kids and my husband. It's working. I feel better and better.

We are having a good summer around here. Great, even. The kids are at a fantastic day camp in the neighborhood. Three mornings a week, where they are taking piano, chess, ju-jitsu, drama as well as the regular camp activities of sprinkler time and arts-and-crafts. (Which Ben still occasionally calls "artsy-crafts.) Claire is learning to roller blade.

I'm trying to organize the house again. I never get very far with it, and I never remember quite how I did it the last time. I hope there is something to be said for the effort of trying, even if I never quite succeed.

There are five weeks until school starts. Second grade and kindergarten. Hard to imagine. Another new set of friends to make - for both Ben and me. Claire's friends will be pretty unchanged, as she's in a special class. I'm glad for that.

It's hard to say goodbye to one phase of friendship as it passes, I think. I wonder who will stay in our circle, and who will move on. Watching these kids grow from babies into toddlers and feeling out the strange waters of motherhood together. The moms made plans, and our kids played together while we chatted.

But, at some point, the kids started picking their own friends. Sometimes, they are still the families we know best. Sometimes, I don't know the parents as well. If I'm lucky I get a new friend in the transaction. Sometimes, I don't. Still, there is a longing for the friendships that have passed. I miss those sweet baby play dates. I miss connecting with those women, who helped me through, those days.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Summer Is Coming

It's like those darned Game of Thrones people, but a lot more fun.

Summer is coming. We have had our first camping trip. A wild success that. We had free-range kids and it was glorious. They found a herd of buddies and some *other* family had hung a swing. Claire and Ben and their cousins, checked in regularly, were never out of earshot, and sent back emissaries for water and snacks. The adults, for their part made sure that we didn't have any beer or Mike's to bring back to the city and kept the campfire burning.

The campers of "Camp Camperscout"
The end of the school year is here. School days are short - and filled with extra activities. Field trips, special shows, carnivals and moving up ceremonies. The kids have done well in school this year, and I'm so very proud of them.

Summer stands in front of us - bold and hot. Full of promise and adventure. Of day camp, and camping. Lazy days and busy weekends. I can't wait for a moment more. And yet, sitting here, listening to the evening birds calling across the buildings, feeling the evening breeze through the window, I feel the moment of now settling perfectly around me.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Deep Thoughts

I had a whole post written out. Was all set to hit publish and a weird wi-fi hiccup happened, and now it's lost.

Suffice it to say, a little girl called me fat the other day. She's five, at the most, one of Claire's classmates in her music class. In that high-pitched little girl voice, she asked me if I had a baby in my tummy.

Now maybe her mother hasn't taught her yet that it's not appropriate to ask if someone is expecting a baby. Or maybe she hasn't learned that making comments about other people's appearances is rude.

Either way, she said it, and I was taken aback. I mean, I am what I am, but
what bothered me more was that her mom didn't say anything to her. No immediate admonishment, no whisper about how such things might hurt someone's feelings. Maybe Mom didn't hear her, or was distracted by the toddler.

Still it's days later, and I'm still ruminating on it.

Then again, I had a different experience yesterday. We were walking to school and my friend and I were talking about our hair. As women tend to, we were complaining about it. (Too short, don't know how to style it, etc.)

This woman, stopped me, and basically said "Bitch, please, you have great hair..." Then she proceeded to tell me all the different things I might do to style it. Scrunch it with gel! Get a flatiron.

So, I guess the takeaway from this - I'm sort of fat, but I've got great hair.
Truth in advertising, I guess.